Going back to when we first found out we were having #2, it was early October 2015 and we were in the worst of Hurricane Matthew. Our power had been out, the bridges were closed, we had sustained winds over 40 mph and then I got sick. So we ventured a few miles away to the Emergency Room, where they ran some tests, and the Nurse told us without a doubt, I was pregnant.
I felt a ton of Mom guilt for having another baby so close to Alexander, like we had not spent enough time with him and now we have another on the way. Eventually this faded into excitement for him to grow up with a brother so close in age.
Finally when my C-section date arrived, we had reached the moment of truth.
2 under 2.
When Alexander first met Allister, he didn’t quite understand what was happening. But once we got home he started to adjust, he was very curious and watched Allister closely. Alexander would pat Allister on his leg and try to move the swing. It was incredibly sweet to watch.
There were jealous and difficult times. Occasionally when Allister woke to feed late at night he would wake Alexander, and then they were both crying. Other moments Alexander wanted to play trucks while Allister was feeding. It became an incredible balancing act of who needs what the most.
Waking up 3-4 times a night and then having your toddler up bright and early, ready to start the day can be difficult.
We tried to keep Alexander on the same schedule or at least as close as possible, to avoid him having too much change at once. His days consisted of pretty much the same as before, but now with his baby brother in the home.
A huge help, in my opinion to adjusting was that Newborns sleep a lot. Once Allister had been fed and changed he typically fell asleep, leaving some nice one on one time for Alexander. Having that time helped Alexander to see that just because there is a new baby, he is still important and his needs matter.
Which could be incedibly helpful in having your oldest accept a new sibling into the family. No child wants to feel that they are being placed on the back burner.
Quick Tips for 2 under 2
#1 Baby wearing can be a lifesaver. While you are chasing your toddler around you can soothe your Newborn to sleep or just keep them calm.
#2 Try to keep as much of your toddlers schedule after baby the same as before. This will help prevent them from being overwhelmed by too much change.
#3 Teach your toddler to be independent as much as possible pre and post baby. This helped a lot with feeeding times. If their meal times crossed sitting there feeding Alexander each bite and holding the bottle/burping Allister was alot to handle at once.
#4 Get a backpack diaper bag, your hands are always going to be full. Having a diaperbag that functions as a backpack helped me keep my hands empty for the boys.
#5 Accept help! Our families offered to elp so much, and sometimes I just felt bad accepting the help no matter how badly I needed it. Don’t take after me! Accept the help, take a break and refresh your mind!
In all fairness there is no magic recipe for having 2 under 2. My experience and adjustment could be worlds different from another mom. I believe that you will adjust no matter what and your first baby will do the same. This is not to say there are not things that can make it easier, but there is not a perfect way